Separation and divorce – the reasons for ending a relationship

End a relationship or marriage is always difficult. The law also lays down some rules that do not make the process easier. The law does not specify reasons for divorce, but what are the reasons to end a marriage and what are the top 10 reasons for divorce in Germany?

• Tip. Our guide for house and apartment: Selling real estate after divorce.

The most important at a glance:

• Since 1977, the law no longer requires grounds for divorce…
• In every relationship there are different problems that can lead to a separation or a divorce
• Common reasons for divorce are infidelity, violence, differences of opinion, drugs, constriction or the lack of common interests.
• The decision to divorce should never be taken lightly
• Talking and working together on the relationship can help save the marriage and overcome the difficulties

Legally valid grounds for divorce – the law in divorces

The law specifies many things when it comes to divorce. However, since 1977 married couples no longer have to state a reason for divorce in order to be able to divorce. The principle of guilt was replaced here by the principle of disruption. However, the legislator specifies a separation year. Before married couples can get divorced, they must go through a separation year, during which the couple is separated but still remains married. This year is to protect against hasty decisions and purely emotional whims and to preserve the principle of marriage. Only in cases of special hardship, the separation year can be omitted.

The grounds for divorce – infidelity, violence and disputes.

There are many different reasons to end a marriage. In each case, the reasons are different and the individual situation of the couple plays a huge role. For some, certain reasons are cause for separation while for others they are not really a reason. In most cases, however, it boils down to similar problems.

Why do women get divorced?

According to a survey by Brigitte magazine, life goals in particular are the reason for divorce. Of 43,000 women, almost 32 percent named different ideas about the future as the main reason. “We’ve grown apart,” they often say succinctly. Place 2 occupies the infidelity with 29.2 per cent. Here affairs of the partner are decisive as a reason for divorce. 10.9 percent of respondents named constant quarreling, bickering and bickering as the main reason for divorcing their husbands, which is thus the third most common reason.

1. Life goals
3. Controversy

Cheating and infidelity – lack of trust in the relationship

Trust is known to be one of the most important prerequisites in a relationship. However, this can be destroyed by infidelity. In monogamous relationships, infidelities are one of the most common reasons for separation. For some, a single slip means the end of the relationship, while others are willing to talk about what happened. Such conversations can bring up issues that were not brought up before and problems can be sorted out. Depending on the situation, such conversations can give a relationship new hope and a second chance can lead to a happy ending.

However, the cheating should not be taken lightly in any case and should be considered by both partners as the first problem in the relationship. In many cases, such a fling means the end of the relationship.

Addiction and drugs – a burden on coexistence

Addiction and substance abuse can become a problem in many relationships and a reason for separation. Often partners of addicts are co-dependent and unknowingly support their partner’s unhealthy behavior. Such relationships are extremely unhealthy for both parts of the relationship. In any case, outside help should be sought and the problems worked through. Depending on the case, this can be done together as a couple or individually after the divorce. Support from outside or an own insight are the first important steps to get out of this cycle.

Violence in relationships – unhealthy relationship with each other

Violence in relationships can take many different forms. This ranges from physical violence in any form to psychological violence in the form of condescending comments or insults. In such relationships, it is important to seek outside help and find a confidant to help one out of this difficult situation. In any case, such behavior constitutes grounds for separation and should not be taken lightly. Violence in relationships counts as a hardship case in most cases and can even be cited as grounds for a hardship divorce, which means that the separation year does not have to be observed. Learn more about hardship divorce!

Constriction of the partner – pressure in the relationship

Constrictions in relationships happen very often and are often exercised unnoticed by the people involved. These include, for example, a strong form of jealousy or small tricks that prevent the other partner from organizing their own leisure time. This behaviour often comes from fears of abandonment or a feeling of inferiority. Such problems should be openly adressed and discussed in relationships. Through such discussions, the partner’s anxiety can be relieved and the behavior may improve. If this is not the case, the relationship can become a constricting place that is unhealthy for both partners. In such a case, the situation is definitely grounds for separation!

No common denominator – lack of common ground

These problems often arise when the couple gets into the daily grind and the rose-red glasses slowly disappear. In such situations, couples realize that they actually have nothing in common. Neither political attitudes nor hobbies, eating habits or even the circle of friends. Lack of common interests can become a big problem and cause arguments. To what extent this burden is a reason for separation, however, must be decided individually in each situation. For a while, such lack of common ground can be concealed with a lot of tolerance and love, but the question remains whether the relationship has a long-term future.

Lack of physicality – the attraction is gone

Physicality is very important in relationships and speaks not only of love, but also of a desire for each other. If the tenderness in relationships become scarce, the question remains open how much feelings and attraction are still present in the relationship. Through conversations and joint work, relationships can often be saved and also the physical desires rekindle, but the lack of physicality can certainly become a serious problem and also a reason for separation.

Ranking – the most frequent reasons for separation in Germany

After we have looked at the various reasons for separation and the requirements of the legislator, the only question that remains is which are the most common reasons for separation in Germany and how many marriages are actually divorced in Germany.

Lack of commitment

Lack of commitment is one of the most common reasons for separation in Germany. After some time, couples drift apart, love turns into friendship and the commitment to maintain and work on the marriage is missing.

Infidelity

Infidelity is often the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Already unhappy relationships were finally shattered by the cheating and divorce was the last resort for the couple. In such cases, however, the separation is usually the best for both parties, because the relationship was already falling apart before the infidelity.

Disputes are often not fully resolved in relationships due to communication problems and thus keep resurfacing. The constant arguing changes the feelings towards the other person and the positive atmosphere of the relationship gradually deteriorates. Divorce is the best solution for the couple.

Married too young

The topic of age plays a role for many. Especially during the twenties, people’s feelings and personalities change and go through a transformation. Relationships often break down due to such a change, because common interests disappear or too few commonalities remain. The trend towards marriage gradually shifts to the age of late twenties, early thirties.

Finance

Money problems in relationships often lead to arguments. If these accumulate, the finances quickly become a major issue in the relationship and can become a reason for separation. Often, these arguments are only part of the problems, but ultimately bring the barrel to overflow.

Drugs

Substance abuse presents a difficult issue in relationships, especially when only one partner is affected. These problems are often not the sole reason for divorce, but depending on the case, they can become too much of a strain on the relationship.

Violence

Violence in relationships, be it psychological or physical is grounds for separation and even warrants a hardship case in court. Any kind of violence should not be tolerated in relationships and should be grounds for divorce.

Health problems

Health problems cause debt and pain, and especially prevent one partner from doing their part in the relationship. Illnesses can make relationships stronger and make the partners a team, but they can just as easily cause the relationship to break down from the strain. An illness is often a reason for separation in marriages and relationships.

Lack of family support

The family is an important pillar in life for many people. It is therefore just as important that one’s partner gets along well with the family and, in the best case, is integrated into it. If disputes arise at this point and there are conflicts between partner and family, this can become a burden for the relationship. The family is therefore also often a reason for the breakup of a relationship.

The number of marriages in Germany in 2018 was 449,466, according to the Federal State Office. In comparison, the divorce rate in 2018 was 32.94%, which means about 0.3 divorces for every one marriage.

Divorce: guide, help and tips

Divorce is complex, it’s true. But you are not alone! Many let themselves separate and in fact, a large part always finds a good solution. Only a small part ends in a quarrel. So that you can prepare well, you will find here our small guides and tips on divorce, family, money and real estate.

• Divorce: Guide

A cat as a pet – these breed differences exist

Who would like to have a cat as a pet, which should first be well informed, because not all cats are the same. With the four-legged friends there are many differences both from nature and from the appearance between the different breeds. Which breed suits you best, you will now learn!

Bengal – playful and very affectionate

The Bengal cat, which from the outside very much resembles the leopard, is medium to large for a cat, with a shoulder height of up to 40 cm and a weight between 4 and 8 kg. It is very slender, muscular and athletic, which is also reflected in its nature. A Bengal cat is not suitable for a pure apartment keeping. She needs enough exercise and occupation from her owner in the sense of small games and skill exercises. Besides its active lifestyle, the Bengal cat is very attached to its master and loves long cuddles and lots of body contact. If she is to be left alone for long periods of time, a playmate is a great option. The Bengal is perfect for families with children but also for singles or couples who live in a house with a garden.

Editor’s Rating:

• Family friendly 4.5 / 5.0
• Single and couple friendly 3.0 / 5.0

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Siamese cat – very sensitive and affectionate

The elegant animals belong to the medium-sized cat breeds and weigh on average 3-5 kg. Their appearance gives them a very special charm. The nature of the animals is generally very playful, but they are also very affectionate, sensitive and seek much physical contact. If they do not like something, they make this clear and also assert themselves in their opinion. Because of their close relationship to humans, the Siamese cat can also be used as a therapy animal for handicapped children. Due to their thin fur they are very intolerant to cold and do not like humid weather. The animals must be kept busy both indoors and outdoors and must be kept sufficiently occupied to act out their hunting instinct. Scratching trees, games and climbing possibilities are therefore very important for them. The cats are well suited for family life, as they are very people-oriented, but this breed is also a good option for singles and couples.

Editor’s Rating:

• Family friendly 4.5 / 5.0
• Single and couple friendly 4.5 / 5.0

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bv9U_VuJWbB/

Carthusian cat – the perfect family member

The Carthusian cats belong to the medium-sized cats and have an average weight of 4-7 kg. They are known for their calm nature and are therefore a popular family cat. They get along great with children, are very affectionate and cuddly. They also have no problem staying alone for a few hours a day. As kittens they are playful and like for example small balls as occupation. A scratching post should be present in every home of a Carthusian cat, because they love the overview they have from a high sitting position. What should also not be missing are several quiet places where the cat can retreat to. The Carthusian cat can easily be kept in an apartment, but in a house also likes to mark the garden as its territory. The breed is perfect for families with children but also good for singles or couples who would like to have a quieter pet.

Editor’s Rating:

• Family friendly 5.0 / 5.0
• Single and couple friendly 4.5 / 5.0

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Holy Birman cat – very calm and little stubbornness

The sacred Birman cat is a very special breed. They are medium-sized and weigh on average 3-6 kg. Their nature is very different from their peers. Unlike other cats, the Birman cats have little stubbornness and rather want to please their master. They are very trusting and in need of cuddling, but also enjoy playing with moving objects. They are very easy to train and very well behaved. They get along well with children and also with other animals, like dogs they have no problem. The breed is perfect for apartment keeping, however, she does not like to stay alone and is therefore happy to have a conspecific. As an outdoor cat, the Holy Birman is rather not suitable, because her trustfulness towards strangers can become dangerous for her. As a family cat the Holy Birman is perfectly suitable, but also for singles and couples who do not want to have a stubborn cat, this breed is perfect.

Editor’s Rating:

• Family friendly 4.5 / 5.0
• Single and couple friendly 5.0 / 5.0

https://www.instagram.com/p/BwCnq1cBZd9/

Sphynx cat – perfect for allergy sufferers

The Sphynx cat is probably one of the most affectionate cat breeds. They are very affectionate and like to find a person to fixate on. They do not like to be alone, as the cat is very sensitive. Sphynx cats are very intelligent and enjoy challenging toys. Due to the lack of fur, the cats are very sensitive to cold. Also draughts and air-conditioned rooms can quickly become dangerous for them. Design ideas: home design. Cats prefer the sun and warmth, which is why they should always have access to heated rooms. In the winter, a heat lamp helps the breed maintain body temperature. Since they do not have fur, they are perfect for allergy sufferers. As a family cat, the Sphynx is perfect but it is also a great option for singles or couples and especially for those with allergies.

Editor’s Rating:

• Family friendly 4.5 / 5.0
• Single and couple friendly 4.5 / 5.0

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bw99bZkn6hd/

Maine Coon cat – lots of outdoor space and great play opportunities

Maine Coon cats are relatively large, with a length (nose to tail) of about 1m and a weight of up to 9 kg. She is by nature very people-oriented, friendly and sociable. She is good with children and dogs and likes to play with them. In addition, she is a very good hunter and is still called “working cat” in the USA, i.e. mice and rat catcher. The breed is considered very lively and therefore needs a lot of space to live out the hunting instinct. The best place is a garden or a big flat, where there are enough climbing possibilities and diversions. A stable scratching post and a large litter box are absolutely necessary. Due to its semi-long coat it needs some help and more care, especially when changing its coat. She is well suited for families in a large house with a garden, as she is very playful but also trusting towards children.

Editor’s Rating:

• Family friendly 4.5 / 5.0
• Single and couple friendly 2.5 / 5.0

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bw-SJepFA75/

Siberian cat – she loves the water

The Siberian cat is a very social animal and is always happy to have company. The attitude with another cat is therefore highly recommended. Also with other animals, the cat gets along very well. To humans it is very friendly and playful, but also cuddling may not be missing in any case. If it is kept as a house cat, it needs mandatory climbing and playing opportunities, such as a scratching post. The special thing about these cats is that they love water and like to play in a still wet shower, at a dripping tap or even with the water bowl. The Siberian cat is perfect for families as well as for singles or couples as an indoor or outdoor cat.

Editor’s Rating:

• Family friendly 4.5 / 5.0
• Single and couple friendly 4.5 / 5.0

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt6azvjgmIj/

Savannah cat – more wild animal than domestic cat

The Savannah cat is larger than an ordinary domestic cat and reaches a shoulder height of up to 45 cm. This is derived from the relatively fresh breeding of this breed. The breeders aim at a small version of the serval, a predatory cat, whereby the proportion of wild blood in the breedings is still very high. Because of this new breeding the temperament is very different, depending on the generation. Some already show strong domestic cat behaviour, are cuddly and affectionate while others are more like wild animals. This manifests itself especially in shy behavior, occasional aggressiveness and constant stress. Keeping these cats is only an option for experienced owners. The cats also need a certain standard for their home, such as plenty of free-range space and little confined space of a house or apartment. Those who do not meet these requirements should refrain from keeping a Savannah cat. For families and beginners in keeping this breed is not a good option. The cats are still too unpredictable and wild to be kept as a normal house cat.

Editor’s Rating:

• Family friendly 0.5 / 5.0
• Single and couple friendly 1.0 / 5.0

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