Children during separation – emotional stress and the right way for parents to deal with it

During a separation or divorce, the children and the parents go through a change that will shape them. Whether this imprint is positive or negative depends mainly on the behavior of the parents. In order to make the separation as pleasant as possible and to burden the children as little as possible with these problems, we, the experts at Lukinski, have put together important tips for you.

The most important at a glance

• The behaviour of the parents is elementary important to prepare the children well for the separation. Open communication within the family helps to eliminate ambiguities.
• A conflict of loyalties for the child should be avoided at all costs!
• After a separation, family life changes and needs to be reorganised. The children should be actively involved in these decisions to ensure an ongoing family life.
• Children, like their parents, go through a change during a separation that shapes them for the future. Especially for young children it is important to recognize the unity of the family even after the separation and not to lose this fixed point.

The task of parents – how to behave correctly

Once a relationship is broken, sooner or later this fact must be admitted. However, the decision to separate is often associated with many unpleasant feelings, disagreements and disputes. Moreover, this step is only the beginning of a series of upheavals and changes. Since the situation is already not easy for the parents, they often find it difficult to leave the joint children out of disputes. However, when separating with children, there are a number of things that should be considered in order to protect the children and the family.

Demarcation between partner and parent

When separating, it is important to distinguish the role as a partner and the role as a parent. You should not forget that even if they have resentment or negative feelings towards the ex-partner, you still remain a parent. This role should not be forgotten or disadvantaged during the separation. In front of the joint children, such feelings should be suppressed and the children should be kept out of arguments as much as possible. Act as a parent with your ex-partner in front of the children and settle disputes in private as partners.

Communication is the be-all and end-all

The separation should be openly communicated by the parents with the children. This is best done in an open conversation before the separation, where the children have the opportunity to ask questions and have enough time to adjust to the situation. Presenting children with a fait accompli only leads to lasting confusion and lots of unanswered questions. Such a conversation is also necessary for children who are already old enough to suspect a separation through previous behaviour, as otherwise unanswered questions remain and loyalty conflicts may arise. Openness is very important in this situation to avoid disputes and ambiguities.

Avoiding a conflict of loyalties

No matter how much the parents quarrel or how great the resentment towards the ex-partner is, the children must not get these disputes. If the children are dragged into the quarrel, it often comes to a conflict of loyalty for the child. However, there are many things that parents do unknowingly during a separation that can lead to such conflicts for children. Secrecy about what to do, pushing for decisions, or defaming the other in their absence can have disastrous effects on the child’s emotional well-being. Both parents should therefore remain neutral towards the child and avoid statements against the other partner in any case.

The child remains a child

Especially with small children, the processing of the separation often manifests itself in disagreements. Whether petulance, irritability or generally bad behavior. These changes in behaviour are an expression of the child’s grief and anger. Such feelings should be given space so that the child can also digest the divorce. However, education is still very important, otherwise the child will lose the sense of right and wrong. During the separation, parents should not forget that the child still remains a child and must be treated as such.

• The behaviour of the parents is elementary important to prepare the children well for the separation.
• Open communication within the family helps to eliminate ambiguities
• A conflict of loyalties for the child should be avoided at all costs!

The future situation – residence, visitation rights and family celebrations

The traditional model of mother, father, child is now the exception rather than the rule. There are all kinds of families, from single parents to large patchwork families. Separation is an issue for many children and most of them are able to cope with the situation because the parents have managed the situation well. Finding a stable balance after the separation between both parents is important and meanwhile also well possible.

After the separation, the parents must decide how to proceed. Where should the child live, how often does the other person see the child, what should the upbringing look like, where will family celebrations be held, and so on. If these points are clarified, nothing stands in the way of further separate family life. There are now many children with two homes that can offer different things. Peace and security with the mother, action and fun with the father. It is important for the children to have a fixed point, a home to which they can relate and which remains a place of retreat for them. It is important not to give the children the feeling of being alone, but to maintain the family feeling.

It can become problematic for families when attempts are made to replace a parent. Especially in the case of separations with young children, it is very likely that a new partner will enter the life of a parent at some point. While a stepfather or stepmother can enrich life in a patchwork family, no new parent can replace the birth one. Even in such forms of family life, it is important to maintain contact with the natural parent. Here again the good cooperation of the parents is needed, because the ex-partner also has to get used to the idea of a new partner in the ex-partner’s life. Good communication and understanding from all sides helps to ease the situation for the child.

• After a separation, family life changes and needs to be reorganised
• The children should be actively involved in these decisions to ensure an ongoing family life.

The impact on the child – especially difficult for young children.

Even today, children of divorce or children with separated parents are automatically seen as problem children and are often still perceived by society as being frowned upon, although this has long since ceased to be the spirit of the times. However, there is no denying that when parents divorce or separate, children also go through a change that also shapes them for the future. So, proper handling especially of young children is elementary during a separation. Young children often feel the bond with their parents as a unit, so knowing about the separation of this unit is often perceived as a betrayal. It is therefore very important to prepare the child gently for the changes and to convey the feeling that this unity continues, just in a different form. The child needs the support and trust of both parents and must be able to continue to recognise the family framework. The final effect of the divorce on the child depends enormously on the behaviour and interaction of the parents.

• Children, like their parents, go through a change when they separate that shapes them for the future.
• Especially for young children it is important to recognize the unity of the family even after the separation and not to lose this fixed point.

Divorce: guide, help and tips

Divorce is complex, it’s true. But you are not alone! Many let themselves separate and in fact, a large part always finds a good solution. Only a small part ends in a quarrel. So that you can prepare well, you will find here our small guides and tips on divorce, family, money and real estate.

• Divorce: Guide

Marketing Concept: Constellation and Attention

In the marketing part you have to explain exactly how your product is / will be positioned and how you get attention for it. The first step is to refine the offer, in particular you have to clarify two questions for the optimization of your idea with the new findings from target group (need, benefit) and competition (USP)

1. What benefits does your offer have for potential customers?
2. What’s better than the competition’s offer?

After your idea has been clearly defined and your offer has been written in key points, the price strategy continues. In which price segment do you want to be on the move with your business idea? Low-priced offers or the high-priced offer, with the risk of a small clientele.

Price Strategy in Marketing Concept

The price strategy at the first moment does not depend on your personal feeling, but on the market. The competition in particular plays a major role when it comes to finding the right price for one’s own product. Not only the competition, but also potential customers play a role in pricing.

At what price will you end up selling your product? The assessment depends not only on factors that can be clearly quantified and evaluated, of course the psychological price also plays an important role in the assessment.

1. What price strategy do you pursue and why?
2. At what price do you want to offer your product / service?
3. What calculation is this price based on?
4. Acceptable
5. Introduction
6. Competition
7. Psychological Price
8. Price Differentiation
9. Conditions

Psychological price

What role does the psychological price play exactly if you are really active in the market? You can determine the price for a product completely freely. You can produce cars for a reasonable price but also cars in the luxury segment. Depending on which applications and which extensions you offer customers, the higher the product value. The more individual and unique your product is, the more individual and unique the price will be. Supply and demand are the main basis for pricing. The principle is quite simple. The higher the demand in relation to supply, the more likely it is that the price will rise, whether the product is low-priced or high-priced, and whether there is much or little supply. If demand tends to outstrip supply, it is a good market for new business ideas.

Here again a little reality check about High Pricing vs Low Pricing, Which strategy do you want for your product?

• High Pricing: Exclusivity vs. smaller clientele

• Low Pricing: Mass Market vs Costs

• Middle: Less effect (psychological) vs Stability

Sales in Marketing Concept

The organization of sales ultimately plays the central role in the sales figures. Because without a profit, your business idea will never make it to the top league. Accordingly, sales must be well organized. Ideally, you have a good network and good contacts to quickly start selling your products or services. The less sales structure there is at the beginning of a business idea, the more difficult it becomes to establish it in the market.

Sales methods: telephone sales to fulfillment

There are numerous possibilities for distribution. Above all, the new digital methods are worth mentioning. E.g. Fulfillment (like Amazon FBA). As a retailer, you can outsource the entire logistics process, from the storage of products to dispatch and return. If you purchase your products via platforms such as Alibaba or produce them yourself, you can have them delivered directly from warehouse to warehouse. All you (at least) need is a notebook. So you can focus on marketing and sales as managing director and owner. Sales, in the FBA example you have Amazon as the largest trading platform in the world behind you! This gives you public access to new products and direct market access to millions of users every day. Sales, however, is not only handled by external service providers, but of course also by our own employees. From the Facebook advertising campaign your social media managers to the classic telephone sales.

The business plan then deals with the rough goals. How big will your sales be by your chosen distribution methods, especially periodically distributed over the months? In which area will you be able to offer your products? What are the costs of new logistical extensions such as sales partners? Of course, your media portfolio in marketing will always be diversified. In the business plan you focus on the most important sales channels. Those who make the decisive sales. The central questions for your business plan and your later pitch:

1. What heel sizes do you control in which periods?
2. Which destinations are you heading for?
3. Which distributors will you use?
4. What are the costs of distribution?

Guideline: Setting up your own business & business plan

You want to start your own business as a real estate agent or with another business idea? We support you with tips on your business plan and concept. Whether self-employed full-time or part-time self-employed: If you want to set up your own company, you have to think about a lot, in advance and in the operative business. From the right idea to health insurance – what needs to be considered if you want to become self-employed?

There is no training or further education for entrepreneurs. Managing director is you or not. Your own ambition is always important, because this is the only way to improve, every day.

The topics at a glance:

What does a property developer do anyway? – Tasks of a real estate expert

He explains to me that a property developer offers complete packages for his customers, so to speak. That means he buys land and builds on it at his own risk, not only houses, but also condominiums or apartment buildings, for example. His customers get from him, so ready to move into houses or apartments including the associated land.

Planning of construction projects

The developer himself takes over the entire planning of the construction project. He commissions construction companies, craftsmen, etc., coordinates the tasks and manages the construction. He is responsible for ensuring that everything goes smoothly and that budgets and schedules are adhered to.

For the buyer, this means that he does not have to deal with authorities or construction companies. The property and the land ownership are only transferred to the customer when he has satisfied himself during the acceptance of the property that everything has been carried out free of defects and in accordance with the contract.

The developer is therefore the builder up to this point and in this capacity obtains all permits and supervises the construction.

Property developers are very free in their real estate offer and they can decide for themselves whether they commit themselves to a certain type of house or apartment or whether they show a large offer. Property developers can acquire large plots of land from the municipality and build new housing developments with various residential concepts, but they can also build on smaller plots of land with adapted houses at the individual request of the customer.

Example: Capital investment (ETW) in Bingen

You are looking for an attractive capital investment in the Rhine-Main region. Welcome to Bingen on the Rhine! Take advantage of the current interest rate situation and invest now in the Rhine-Main region. In a central location with a fantastic view of the Rhine and the Rheingau, 25 modern and bright condominiums will be built in the usual high quality.

From the cosy two-room apartment with approx. 66 m² of living space to the spacious four-room apartment with approx. 152 m² of living space, this exclusive residential domicile offers the right property for every situation in life. The immediate proximity to the river as well as to several parks and local recreation areas, combined with excellent transport links, make the Rheintal Terraces so unique.

• Investment (ETW) in Bingen

A visit to construction site #2 in Bingen

The real estate expert leads me through the shell – A new object of the expert is just under construction. In the middle of the center of Bingen he builds a party house with 20 apartments. From the outside the house already looks really good. Small things are missing and the finishing touches, but the building is not finished yet.

Over a gravel path we enter the house and already here the construction noise drones towards us. In the house itself, it looks not yet as finished as from the outside. Partially already tiled floor, otherwise raw walls, floors & stairs.

We walked through the half-finished staircase to the 2nd floor of the house, here we also met construction workers who were laying parquet flooring in the living room. He explained to me that as a developer he visits the building sites almost daily to check on the progress and to supervise the construction. The workmen greet him, many of them old acquaintances who have built many houses with him, he explains. The roof terrace of the apartment we are standing in is breathtaking, balconies out on both sides, floor-to-ceiling windows, and the beautiful view of the Rhine, the vineyards and the city not to forget.

Although we are standing in the middle of a construction site, there is a homely feeling and you would like to move in yourself. The real estate expert explains to me that it takes about one and a half years until such a project is completed.

“Every time it makes me happy all over again to see a completed property and the faces of the happy new tenants”

…according to the expert. Next we go to one of his new projects. When we arrived, I had to laugh, because we were standing in front of a big hole in the middle of two houses. Here, a house was recently demolished and now the hole for the new foundation was dug. Here, too, the excavator driver greeted us directly with a big grin on his face. He, too, has often worked for the expert. We briefly discuss some details with the excavator driver, while I walk back and forth in the pit. Hardly imaginable that on this piece, on which now only much dust & stones lie once a house should stand.

Work in the office: sales and construction coordination

That happens behind the scenes with the real estate expert – Last on this day the way leads us to the office of the real estate expert. This is located directly in Bingen on the Rhine, we drove up and at first I thought we were at the wrong address, because we were standing in front of a winery.

The expert explained to me that this winery once belonged to his grandfather and that now his uncle ran it after a small tour of the wine cellars I was already very impressed. A true family business. Right next to the winery you can find the office of the real estate expert in an idyllic atmosphere. Large windows reveal a view directly onto the Rhine, the vineyards and of course Bingen. Three other employees also work in the company. They greet me warmly at the door. The employees assist with daily tasks, manage sales and construction coordination. Another employee also works in the administration. There is a friendly atmosphere, small jokes are made and then get back to work.

The office, very invitingly designed, on the meeting table are plans of various houses and sketches of meetings. The real estate expert also has a story to tell about this house, because the house in which it is located belonged to his grandmother. He took over the house and moved into the premises.

Company foundation: From 0 to property developer

When the company was founded, he worked from his living room. First the first employee came, then the second and at some point there was no more room to live there and he decided to make his apartment his office. That’s how a simple apartment and a dream turned into a successful company. I am thrilled by the positive atmosphere and the cooperation of the employees, you can see at first glance that great work is being done here.

My day with the real estate expert ends and I get a bottle of wine from the family winery to take with me on my way.

My conclusion – the real estate expert leads a great and innovative company, which has a lot of potential to grow. The projects that he realizes in Bingen and the surrounding area, which are under the slogan ‘ … we make Bingen more beautiful!′, are fully justified. The small town directly on the Rhine is given a very special charm by the properties of the developer.

Capital investment (ETW) in the Rhine-Main area

Few locations in Germany carry as much potential as the Rhine-Main region. The financial sector in Frankfurt am Main, picturesque landscapes in the Rhine Valley, unique real estate between the banks and rugged cliffs. In no other region of Germany, does Germany look so “German”. Pure romance between vineyards, castles, palaces. The Rhine-Main region is a magnet for tourism, characterized by a strong economy around the metropolitan region of Frankfurt am Main / Mainz / Wiesbaden. Capital investment in the metropolitan region around Frankfurt or a few minutes away in the Rhine and Main valley? An insight:

• Capital investment Rhine-Main

Capital investment in Bingen

As reported above, here you will find everything from the cozy two-room apartment with about 66 m² of living space to the spacious four-room apartment with about 152 m² of living space, in an exclusive residential domicile. The immediate proximity to the river as well as to several parks and local recreation areas, combined with excellent transport links, make the Rheintal Terraces so unique.

• Investment (ETW) in Bingen